This Light is Fading
by ThatOneGoodWriter
Summary: Kagome Higurashi is determined to join the Survey Corps. There she meets Erwin Smith who abruptly appoints her to Levi Ackerman's team. As she journeys with her Captain and her companions, she is constantly reminded of a miko in an era she does not remember. Trying to recollect the memories she receives, Kagome must find a way to understand who she once was and who she will be.
1. Chapter 1

"I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place.

I hope that the world turns and that things get better"

(Alan Moore)

She shifted on her bed, kicking away the thin sheets from her body. She was burning. Sweat slid down her forehead and wrinkles formed around her eyes as she struggled to awaken. She murmured softly, reaching her hands out in front of her. She was young. And in her slumber, she appeared to be a small child. A whimper escaped her lips. She tilted her head so that it pushed against her pillow. Then she spoke audibly for the first time. _"Are you lying to me, Sota?"_

 _"No! Why would I lie? I really saw him go down there!" He was a boy of about ten years. He was standing near a wooden doorway. He was pointing at something, she was sure. She tried to take a look at herself but she couldn't control her body. It seemed as if she was far off from the scene, watching._

 _"Well, I don't see him. He probably ran out by now." And then she saw herself. It was her, she was certain. Just different. She was wearing a skirt and a buttoned long-sleeved shirt. She looked ready to leave somewhere, her backpack slung on her shoulder._

 _The boy insisted. Who was he? Why did he seem so familiar? "No way, Kagome!" Kagome, that was her name. How did this child know her? She tried to focus on him, willing herself to conjure up any memory she may have had of him. Nothing came._

 _"We have to head to school, Sota. Gramps will find Buyo later." She rubbed her shoulders as if she was cold. "Plus, this place creeps me out."_

 _Sota. Whoever the boy was, she knew him. They had some sort of relationship._

 _"Fine. But if nobody finds him, I'm blaming you." He said, crossing his arms against his chest. He looked relieved to leave the shed though._

 _"Oh, shut up." She started to walk toward him, her stride quick and deliberate. That's when the boy screamed. He was pointing at something behind her._

 _She didn't have time to turn around. White mist filled the air and a creature leapt out of the once sealed well. Sota's eyes were frozen. The creature was snake-like, with a long body that resembled that of a centipede. Her skin was green and shells spotted her naked flesh. In an instant, the girl, or better yet, Kagome, was swallowed into the dark depths of the hole. Sota fell to his knees._

She gasped, her body shivering. She couldn't breathe. What had just happened? What had she just dreamt of? She grabbed at the blankets that were now lying on the ground and wrapped them tightly around her shoulders. Her lips quivered. She had to remind herself that she was safe. The monster was fake. That creature didn't exist. She was here. On the lower end of the bunk bed. The snores of Sasha above her caused her heart beats to slow. The sounds told her that she was still alive and well. She tried to make sense of everything, but it seemed pointless. It was just another of her nightmares.

 **x**

Kagome found Jean in the mess hall. Unlike the loud, playful shouts and jokes of others, dark bags hung underneath her eyes. She made her way to him through the throng of people that tried to speak and interact with him. In his own, unexplainable way, Jean was quite popular. When the two made eye contact, he grinned. Something in her face must have told him something was wrong for he abandoned Marco and tugged her arm so that they could walk out of the chaotic room. She was silent as they trudged outside. The air was moist and she gazed downwards from the sting of the sun.

"What's up?" He asked, leaning against the door frame, his voice gruff and concerned.

She shook her head. "I had another dream."

Jean sighed and leaned forward, his tall stature clouding over her short one. "What was this one about?"

She couldn't even explain it. "I don't-I mean." She faltered. It was absurd to even explain.

Jean understood. "You don't have to." There was something in his green eyes that made it seem as if he was actually listening to her. Kagome shut her eyes, letting the sun's light envelope her skin.

She felt Jean's fingers tug at a strand of her hair. "Hm?" She asked him. She could've slept right there and then if she willed herself to.

"You know we'll be making our decisions soon, right?" He sounded nervous. His orbs flicked to a group of soldiers laughing and playing cards.

"Yes. I know, Jean."

She knew there was an underlying question beneath his thoughts. She just couldn't bring herself to answer it. Their lives would be decided based on the positions they chose. The pressure was mounting.

Instead, she answered in the only way she could. Kagome took his hand, calloused and young, and placed it against her cheek. She heard Jean release a breath. Sometimes, words aren't enough.

 **x**

Grueling hours turned into long, unrelenting days. And as time slipped by, more talks rose among the teenagers. They were frightened, excited, nervous, afraid, and glad at the opportunity to pick their squads. During dinner, boys fought about which was the easier squad and which would leave them alive the longest. Before hitting the sacks, she listened to girls who wished to plan their routes together so they wouldn't be separated. It seemed as if every second was dedicated to picking a squad and Kagome wasn't ready for any of it. Her nights were spent with stressful dreams and her days were used catching up on the sleep she had lost.

She ignored anyone who asked her where she was heading. She changed the subject when confronted with her companions. Everything flew past her like a blur. It was Jean who finally managed to get to her. She was outside, arranging her clothing on a string that hung between several homes. Around her, merchants bragged about their products and customers rubbed their chins in thought, wondering if what they desired was worth what they had in their pockets. "Kags!"

She turned her attention away from the elderly couple she had been observing to a sprinting Jean. He looked exasperated and out of breath, his cheeks red and puffed smiled softly. "Hey Jean."

"You've been avoiding me." It wasn't a question. It was an accusation.

She had the decency to look slightly ashamed. "I've been trying to get away from everybody, actually."

Kagome squeezed the water out of a shirt and watched as the liquid fell into a steel bucket. "Why?"

"You know why." She took the shirt and let it lie over the string, the breeze lightly blowing the cloth.

"Because you're afraid." The truth in his words made her flinch, but he didn't take them back.

She finally whirled to face him, her lips pursed. Her face was pale compared to the mass of dark hair that was piled on her head. "So what if I'm afraid?"

He stepped closer to her. "No one said anything about that. I'm talking about us. Titans are appearing out of nowhere and I just want to fucking know if you'll be near me!" His chest rose and fell rapidly. Kagome blinked and sucked in a breath.

She was quiet for a few moments. Her blue eyes met his. He was pleading with her. "I'm sorry."

His shoulders sagged. "For what, Kagome?"

She shrugged. "I've been a mess lately. I just-I'm scared of what'll happen to us. We're ants compared to those creatures."

Jean nodded, his mouth curling upwards. "Yea. But we'll always be ants. That's not gonna change. We've just got to figure out a way for the underdogs to win. That's all."

She laughed, covering her face with her hands. "That sounds easy."

Jean was still smiling. There was something contagious about it. "I'm guessing you've decided already."

He nodded sheepishly.

She rose her eyebrow and watched as he peered everywhere but in her direction. "The Survey Corps."

Kagome wasn't surprised, not in the least. He waited for her reaction.

"Okay."

His jaw dropped. "Okay what?"

She wondered if he noticed her trembling fingers. Or the way she tried to contain herself. The knuckles that were white from her hard grip on the clothes. The distant expression. "I'll be with you."

He pumped his fist into the air, an excited shout filling the atmosphere around them.

Of course, he didn't notice.

 **x**

 **[a/n]: I'm redoing the story, as you might have guessed. The story will still contain the same pairing (Levi/Kagome). The plot has just been altered. I'm sorry I haven't come back**

 **in awhile. Hopefully, there are still some of you to read and review this. All the love. Will update sooooon.**


	2. Chapter 2

_The whole of immortality secreted in a star._

Emily Dickinson

She hadn't had any nightmares for several nights. The effects were sort of miraculous. She didn't have heavy bags under her eyes. Her body wasn't sore and aching. She stopped thinking about reaching morning and instead thought about enjoying the night. Everything felt serene until Kagome realized that today was recruitment day. She was nervous and jittery and excited. She could only wonder what the others were feeling.

It was a sunny day, the clouds barely visible. She blinked and started forward, trying to make her way through a throng of teenagers who were waiting to enlist in the 104th Cadet Corps. She peered around, accidently stepping on a person's shoe. The stranger released a sound of pain and Kagome immediately flashed an apologetic smile. "Oi, I'm sorry!" Green met sapphire. She felt her lips part. He was around her age, his hair short and brown, curling at the ends. He was staring at her critically, like he wasn't sure he was doing it. She glanced downwards just as she heard someone shout her name.

She whirled at the familiar voice. It was Jean. He looked slightly annoyed, his tall figure pushing against all in his path. When he was within a foot of her, he grinned, all teeth. It took him a few moments to realize who she had been interacting with. His long face contorted into an emotion of irritation. "Jaeger," he started with even contempt, "Nice seeing you here."

The boy scowled. She knew at that instant that they could never be true companions, not if she so closely clung onto Jean. "Same to you." Jaeger replied, abruptly whispering to a female next to him.

All conversations fell when the drill instructor stepped carefully to the group. He didn't look threatening, but the cadets hadn't been exposed to any authority thus far, so they listened attentively. Kagome feels Jean tense next to her. Hesitantly, and making sure no one would catch the action, she took his hand and squeezed it. She was rewarded with a long breath of relief from her friend.

 _This is it,_ she thought grimly. _The beginning is now._

 **x**

Surprisingly and to Jean's discomfort, Kagome was a natural using the omni-directional mobility gear. It took her two tries before she got the hang of it. She had turned to the individuals close to her, finding them deep in frustration, their brows drawn angrily. Balancing was difficult and Keith Sadies, their mentor, was impressed. He gave her a nod of recognition which she gladly accepted, her cheeks a light pink.

Jean joined the completed group a few minutes after she did. He stood next to her, occasionally whispering gossip about the others. She wasn't really paying attention to him, her gaze scanning to the boy Jean had called Jaeger. He was struggling tremendously, his legs flopping wildly. The cables were getting tangled in his restlessness. She could tell he was panicking. Kagome pursed her lips, wanting to help him but unsure how.

 **x**

Training from there was hell. It was rigorous and every night she retired to her bed, she'd collapse ungracefully, her body stinging. They were going through so many trials, each trying to observe their strengths and weaknesses. At the end of the day, nobody knew how well they had done. Nobody knew just how far they had come. Kagome tried her best, particularly during hand-to-hand combat. She was paired with Mikasa, who, despite her isolated character, treated her fairly. She was quick and aggressive. To her disappointment, she couldn't keep up. Her jabs didn't quite reach Mikasa's torso and every kick she landed was too weak, barely inflicting any pain. Still, the girl she had been sparring with was kind. She placed her hand out. "Good job."

Kagome grunted and smiled a little. "Thanks. I should be saying that to you."

From there, they were friends. Not too close, but not too far either.

 **x**

At midnight, after their last session of evaluations, all the cadets were called to the meeting grounds. The air was slightly chilly and she was certain that everyone was rethinking their decisions. It was now or never. She was either in the survey corps or a nobody in the military police or garrison. She heard the whispers of others behind her, their voices high-strung and stricken.

 _"I don't know, man. I can't take that risk. I'll stick with the Military Police."_

 _"Are you stupid? You join the Survey Corps and you're basically dead meat!"_

 _"I don't care anymore. I'm keeping my life."_

Kagome shivered. Her shoulders straightened when she caught a glimpse of who was in front of them. Commander Erwin Smith. She sucked in a breath and brought her fist robotically to her chest in the form of the salute. All those around her followed suit. To her amazement, she found the Jaeger kid beside her. She snuck a glance at him, intrigued by his expression. He looked _proud_ to be there. She looked away wearily, wondering if she should've appeared that way too.

The Commander circled the teenagers, his strides quick and purposeful. He was a scary man to look at. She kept her face forward, her ebony locks flowing slightly from the breeze. "I do not know what your decisions will be tonight. I do not know if you will be regarded a hero or a coward." He paused, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. Behind him, stood a short man. In spite of his stature, everyone knew who he was. He was stronger than a thousand soldiers. His gray orbs lazily slid from face to face, as if he couldn't care less about their futures. "To tell you the truth, cadets, we are no closer to beating the titans than we were years ago." She heard some people make noises of disbelief and shock. The Commander paid no mind. "Without trial, there can never be success or victory. Join the Survey Corps and you are a warrior. Join the Military Police and you are a protector. Join the Garrison and you're biggest ally is patience. I ask you to choose with your minds, rather than your hearts." He cleared his throat, waving his right hand in the air elegantly.

A woman appeared, her glasses hanging loosely above her nose. She had a notepad in her palm and a pencil that scribbled viciously across the pages. She was less intimidating. She looked more creepy than horrifying. "When Hanji announces your name, please report the regiment you would like to join."

"Annie Leonhart!"

The girl answered, somewhere in the far back. "Military Police!" She said it with such certainty that others near her stirred.

"Mikasa Ackerman!"

"Survey Corps!"

"Eren Jaeger!"

"Survey Corps!"

From there, a lot more volunteered for the survey corps. It was as if Eren and Mikasa had led the charge, eventually bringing in kids like Connie and Sasha and Armin. Kagome and Jean had given the answer they had already decided on.

Their fates were sealed.

 **x**

 _She gasped, staring at the stone altar beneath her. She hadn't expected the sword to be freed. Her breathing was rapid. The sword was heavy, its metal shining despite the collecting dust. "I-" She started, her voice cracking with surprise and fear._

 _She stared at Inuyasha, saw her own expression on his face. His mouth was dipped open, ears perked._

 _It was Sesshomaru who spoke, his voice spotted with malice and interest. "A mere human manages to grasp Tetsusaiga. This changes everything. Who are you, woman?"_

 _It was Inuyasha who managed to retort quickly, "None of your damn business! The sword is hers now. You can't do anything about it." Slowly, he grinned, satisfaction taking over his half-demon features._

 _Sesshomaru's eyes glinted dangerously. Then he glided toward Inuyasha, the fur on his back whipping swiftly. Kagome screamed, thrusting Tetsusaiga to Inuyasha. He made a startled noise and gave her a questioning look before dodging his brother's first strike._

Kagome fisted her hands. This time, she knew she was dreaming. She struggled to sit up, her body speckled with sweat. She clasped her neck carefully, her hair falling downwards in dark waves.

She was aware of one thing.

The girl in her dreams; it was her. She was dreaming about the past. She swallowed with strain.

 **x**

 _Updates for this story are every Friday! Please review! Thanks._


	3. Chapter 3

_We are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love._

Sigmund Freud

When Kagome finally talked to Jean, he was flabbergasted. She didn't know if he thought she was crazy or if he actually believed her. He raked his fingers through his short hair. The small strands stick upwards raggedly. Kagome watched him desperately, her hands clasped tightly together underneath her chin. "Jean?"

He sighed, finally meeting her gaze. "So, what you're telling me," he hesitated, "is that you're having dreams about your past?" The words sounded jumbled and wrong, but she nodded eagerly, gouging his expression.

"Kags." He shook his head. "That's hard for even me to believe."

She deflated. Jean noticed immediately, his eyebrows drawn in sympathy. He opened his mouth. "You have to give me more than that." She wanted to argue back. She wanted to tell him that she couldn't prove anything. They were just dreams. She couldn't show him.

"Okay." Kagome replied, making sure that was the end of their conversation.

Jean tilted his body forward. He took her hand. "Let's go."

 **x**

They hadn't gotten any word from the scouts. No missions were assigned and no evaluations were presented. The teenagers still trained heavily and without breaks, despite the fact that they didn't know what they were preparing for.

Kagome was out shopping in the market. She weaved her way through a throng of villagers, muttering apologies, her eyes scanning for ripe fruits and hot bread. Unlike the others, she didn't have parents to call her own. She lived with Jean's family. Not many knew that and Jean didn't like saying anything about it. He challenged anyone who questioned Kagome, who even looked at her in the wrong way. She loved and hated him for that.

She caught a glimpse of a crate filled with small chunks of cheese and dry wheat bread. She hurried toward the seller, an old woman with beady eyes and little to no hair. Smiling in greeting, Kagome bowed her head. "How much will that cost?"

She didn't get to hear the woman's answer.

Her ears had gone numb.

A roar echoed in the wind.

Kagome dropped the coins she had in her palm. She made the mistake of looking upwards, ignoring the sun and focusing on the large shadow that had settled atop the wall.

She noticed too late.

The crumbling blocks of cement. The screams. The rush of escape around her.

She did the only thing that came to mind.

She ran.

 **x**

She kept repeating the litany over and over again. She whispered it as she sprinted passed cracked barrels, rolling down the street. She prayed to it as she heard the bloodcurdling shriek of titans nearby. _"Jean. Jean. Jean. Jean."_

Her breathing was ragged. Her dark hair clung to her face from sweat. She made it to their house.

Her lips parted. She tried to shout.

Nothing came out.

 **x**

She didn't question how the titans had breached the walls. She didn't question just how prepared humanity was. She didn't question the blood she saw plastered on the tarmac, or the separated body parts that appeared bitten and crunched. Her blue orbs widened. Jean's house was demolished. Her heart withered slightly. Nonetheless, she continued on, pushing away large pieces of wood and the remains of the property's structure. Her fingers were cut. She felt a splinter on the tip of her thumb. She threw aside small rocks, her frustration growing.

"Kagome!" She turned, frazzled, her face wild with grief and expectation and fear.

It was Jean. He looked ashen. His skin was covered with soot and grime. His shirt had gotten torn off down the middle. She rushed towards him, whimpering when his arms wrapped around her body. "We have to go! Now!"

No matter how fast they scampered, they couldn't ignore the hollers of pain and sorrow they heard.

 **x**

"What the hell?" Jean exclaims, his lips drawn into a deep scowl of surprise. He yanks her with him to the front of the crowd. A mass of people is standing around them, mothers and daughters and sons and fathers. Kagome notices the crimson on their clothing and the rigidness of their shoulders. The dried tears on their faces and the hard grasps in which they hold their dear ones.

She realizes what the commotion is all about.

Cargo is covering the exit. She sucks in a breath, wondering how much time they had. How long it would take for the titans to reach them. To swallow them whole.

A fat man is standing in front of the extended carts. His short arms are outstretched. His cheeks are flushed, from anger or embarrassment, she didn't know.

The villagers were yelling at him. Pointing to the sky. They pushed their way ahead, hands fisted and cocked. Jean took her closer to him. To her astonishment, she found Mikasa next to her.

"This is no time for a fight. The titans are coming. They'll be here any second." The short haired girl said, quietly seething. Beside her, is Armin. His blonde hair is spotted with dirt. His cloak is ripped from the hood.

Kagome nods, trying to gain her mentality back. She takes a step toward the merchant. She's relieved when Mikasa is beside her, backing her up.

They take their blades. They take the man by storm. They leave him shaking, a pitiful human with pitiful ideals.

 **x**

When the town's people are finally able to pass the city's gate, they gather in locations set by the garrison regiment. Armin has tears in his eyes. He keeps glancing at Mikasa anxiously, as if waiting for her to do something. Jean is eerily quiet. His rough hand is still in hers. He doesn't care that anyone sees. "We need to protect them. We're supposed to back them up." Mikasa shakes locks of her hair aside. In her stance, she looks powerful.

Kagome peers away. She stares as a group of people huddle behind the military police, waiting for sanctuary. "Come on, then." She isn't wearing her uniform, but at least she has her mobility gear on. Pausing, she turns back, mouth curling in confusion. "Where's..." She tries to remember his name. "Jaeger?"

Armin releases a sob. Jean frowns, trying to come up with a conclusion. It's Mikasa who answers, her voice hard and unyielding. "As of now, he's dead."

They stiffen.

 **x**

They blank their minds. They assemble their gear. They leap from building to building. Kagome hasn't ever killed a titan before. She clutches the hand grips, aiming towards the nearest ridge and jumping towards it. The air is cold. It gives her a rush of adrenaline. She's still afraid, but with the others supporting her, she's more confident. She's dimly aware of Mikasa getting behind a short titan, whipping her leg back and striking the neck with great accuracy.

"Behind you!" Kagome shouts, letting her feet slap against the roof she was standing on. She doesn't know how quickly she ends up behind the abnormal titan. She doesn't know how impossible her strategy is. All she's thinking about is saving the scout who had been caught off guard. In the background, she can almost feel Jean calling for her. She takes her blade and slashes the eyes of the creature. It wails recklessly, arms blindly reaching for her.

It's in that second that she hits her target.

She doesn't see the pink glow coming from her chest.

Nobody does.

Except for the squad captain. His gray eyes narrow.

 **x**

 _It's here! Tell me what you think! Next update on Friday. Thanks!_


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